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Editor’s Note: In this new edition of Here’s
the Deal, the author begins by acknowledging the die-hard
determination of the Feminism Bashers of America (FBA). Then he caves
to the pressure by offering up a sensational, insider’s expose of the
world’s biggest civil rights movement. He hopes it will help him land
a cushy FBA speaking gig. In the interests of journalistic fairness,
however, he does manage to sneak in a brief mention of a couple of
minor contributions that seem to have escaped the notice of the FBA.
Now on to the column!
Giving No Credit Where Credit Is Due:
Critics See What's Wrong With
The World's Biggest Civil Rights Movement.
But Aren't They Missing Something?
officially sponsored by Here's The Deal - a column found at the
Dads & Daughters website.
by Hank Shaw ©2002
I. When the Feminist Bashers of
America (FBA) bite, they don’t let go.
Some people just won’t say anything good about feminism.
They’d rather streak the Hornet Hives Cactus
Festival.
They’d rather spend the rest of their lives in
rush hour traffic.
They’d rather sit there on one of those lame
blind-date TV shows while THE SIGNIFICANT OTHER disses them as a geek
and a jerk.
“He kept picking his
nose in the hot-tub. Then I find out he
only knows FOUR words!”
Shaquille O Neil knows all about critics who
won’t give credit where credit is due. The big guy scores 40 playoff points while the
anti-Shaq-pack screams, “THE BUM CAN’T HIT A FOUL SHOT!”
II. Willful ignorance is a
powerful thing.
Yup. There are a lot of folks determined to diss feminism. And
some of them get paid big bucks to do it. Check the editorial pages
of your local newspaper. If it’s like the one in my town,
professional f-bashing is practically a regular feature.
In May, 2002, for example, George Will flogged Feminism because two
women published books he thought were bogus. I haven’t read the
books. But my guess is, the authors haven’t been elected as the
Supreme Overlords of Global Feminism yet.
The same month, in Newsweek, Will went on
the attack again in a piece called “A Train Wreck called Title IX.”
The guy with the bowtie quotes the author of the tome thusly:
“Some feminists actually
seem to think young girls aren’t worthy of respect and admiration
unless and until they act like young boys.”
What century did that blow in from? And what
does “actually seem to think” MEAN anyway?
I’d feel a lot better about George if he would
have added this after the quote: “Now, wasn’t that a silly-ass
statement”? But he passed on the opportunity.
III. Violence against women is a trumped-up
charge.
Of course, Man George is just one of the professional Feminist
Bashers of America (FBA). There’s also the syndicated columnist
Kathleen Parker who periodically accuses feminists of super-sizing the
problem of violence against women and girls. In May, 2002—the same week George blamed feminism
for publishing books he didn’t like--Parker wrote this:
“Rape is a problem, but
it isn’t close to the epidemic some rape crisis advocates would have
us believe. Some campuses report exactly zero rapes in a given year.
Even huge statewide university systems such as California’s reported,
for example, 13 rapes in 1995, according to the Department of
Education’s Campus Crime Statistics.”
According to my watch, it’s now 2002. And yet
Parker’s quoting 1995 statistics? Oh, what the heck. Let’s play by
her rules. If you moonwalk back to 1995, you’ll find that
some colleges not only reported ZERO rapes, they reported ZERO alcohol
and drug violations. And if you believe that all the students at
these schools were card-carrying members of the Temperance & Celibacy
Society, I’d like to talk to you about some prime vacation land near a
historic site in Chernobyl!
“Get ‘em while they last, because these lots
are HOT!”
In fact, the tendency to overlook certain felonious behaviors on
the part of tuition-paying students landed some colleges and
universities in hot water with the feds. Reporting regulations were
changed as a result.
Furthermore, if Kathleen “who needs research?”
Parker had done her homework, she would have come up with a recent
report from the U.S. Department of Justice—The Sexual Victimization
of College Women (December, 2000)--that said this: "…college
administrators might be disturbed to learn that for every 1,000 women
attending their institutions, there may well be 35 incidents of rape
in a given academic year…for a campus with 10,000 women, this would
mean the number of rapes could exceed 350."
That may not sound like an epidemic to Ms.
Parker, but it sure does to me.
IV. Politically Incorrect host rails
against “the feminization of America.”
A couple weeks after reading this crap, I turned on the tube for
relief. And what did I find? There, in living color, was Bill Maher,
host of Politically Incorrect, talking about bad stuff like the
Enron scandal and bashing Americans for losing their sense of anger
and outrage.
And the number one reason why Americans have lost
their anger? In Bill’s view, it’s “the feminization of America.”
Which, apparently, is the classy, intellectual way of saying,
“AMERICANS HAVE LOST THEIR BALLS!”
OK. So the guy never heard of the Columbine
massacre. And maybe he thinks “going postal” is what people do when
the government jacks up the price of stamps. Oh well. I can forgive
him for thinking we’re in an anger drought.
But to pin the blame for America’s ills on “the
feminization” of the country? When you hear something like that on
network television, you just have to sit there for a moment. It’s
like taking a night drive out in the country and suddenly seeing the
Aurora Borealis. All you can say is “Wow.” No other words are up to
the task.
Of course, this was BILL MAHER talking. And if
you watched this overrated show on any kind of semi-regular basis, you
probably noticed that Bill has some MAJOR ISSUES with women. And when
you’re pissed off at the women in your personal life, why not blame
them for the character flaws of America? Works for me.
In any case, Bill’s rant did serve an important
historical function. It completed the Magical Mobius Strip of
F-Bashing Logic. If you follow the strip in one direction, you
discover that FEMINISTS WANT GIRLS TO ACT LIKE BOYS!!! AND THAT’S THE
PROBLEM WITH AMERICA! If you go in the other direction, you learn that
THE BIG PROBLEM WITH AMERICA IS, WE’RE ALL ACTING LIKE GIRLS!!!
Either way, you can collar feminism for the
crime. Which is pretty nifty. In fact, you might want to remember this
all-purpose finger-pointer the next time you run a stop sign.
"It wasn’t my lead foot, officer. It was Global Feminism!”
V. Assailed on all media fronts, the author
runs up the white flag.
And now for the bad news: I’ve only talked about a COUPLE of
f-bashing incidents. If you add in the regular, assembly-line muggings
from Rush Limbaugh and Dr. Laura and Ann “there is no vast market for
women’s sports” Coulter and the Independent Women’s Forum and all the
other people who have bought into this nonsense, it’s easy to feel
outnumbered. Some days it even seems like there’s a whole minor
league system set up to develop the f-bashers of the future.
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F-BASHERS ON THE LEFT OF ME…F-BASHERS ON THE
RIGHT OF ME…
The only sensible thing to do under the
circumstances is to cave to the pressure and join the other side.
Which is why I decided to put together the following historic,
whistle-blowing EXPOSE! of modern feminism. With any luck, it could lead to some cushy
speaking gigs with the FBA!
VI. A brief catalog of the
evils foisted on modern society by pathological miscreants who call
themselves…well, you know.
Expose Item One. It is incontrovertibly true that some
feminists out there occasionally misstate facts and/or overstate the
case.
Expose Item Two. Some feminists get hung
up on small stuff.
Expose Item Three. Some feminists forget
to let their sense of humor off a leash.
Expose Item Four. Some feminists skimp on
their taxes, use bad table manners, fail to pick up their dogs’ poop,
and, quite possibly, commit various misdemeanors and felonious acts.
All of which proves one terrible, horrible,
no-good, very bad thing:
FEMINISTS AIN’T PERFECT!
Which means they have a whole lot in
common with Republicans, Democrats, Republicrats, Libertarians,
Rotarians, Christians, Muslims, jocks, geeks, sherpas, fish-bait store
owners, Catholic priests, the guys on my softball team, members of the
National Zwiebeck Toast Box Collectors Club, Enron officials, and
every other group imaginable…including media types like Kathleen,
George and Bill.
VII. And now for a brief
mention of a couple of minor tweaks to the world that might possibly
be attributed to…well, you know.
Now that I have that off my chest, I should probably attempt to
meet the minimum journalistic requirements for fairness by mentioning
a minor point that sometimes gets overlooked in the f-bashing frenzy:
FEMINISTS HAVE MANAGED TO PULL OFF ONE
OF THE MOST REMARKABLE FEATS IN HISTORY.
Against all the odds…against powerful opposition
on every continent…often faced with public ridicule and
derision...these folks have brought the world’s attention to a
fundamental human rights issue that affects every country,
institution, and person on the planet: gender inequality.
Here’s something even more important.
Feminists have created a global movement that has made…is making…and
will continue to make…the world a fairer place for billions of people.
VIII. A quick look at the world before & after
f-ism.
Yessiree. Feminism’s incomparable contributions somehow end up on
the cutting-room floor when the FBA produces its “femi-nazi”
mockumentaries. So let me attempt to fill in some of the missing
footage with this quick Before & After comparison.
Please remember that this is only a partial
list. If you have something to add, email your ideas to
Time4guys@aol.com. Your contributions could show up in a future
edition of Here’s the Deal.
● Before feminism, the
world was ruled by an exclusive club that did not include ANY women.
Now my seven nieces will at least have a shot at membership…if they’re
interested.
● Before feminism, many
women got stuck with housework as their only option. Now a growing
number of women get to choose whether they want to work inside
or outside the home. Either way’s cool by me.
● Before feminism, women
interested in employment outside the home were given the children’s
menu: Hot dogs, pizza or hamburger? Now, in developed countries, they
get a T.G.I.F.-size menu that’s ALMOST AS BIG as the one men get. And
it’s still getting bigger…even in undeveloped countries.
● Before feminism, men
considered “women’s work” a joke. After feminism, SOME guys have
learned to respect the skills and energy and administrative expertise
it takes to handle the 10,000 chores involved in running a household.
P.S. Getting to the
office was like a vacation during my Mr. Mom days. That’s how I
learned first-hand that the husband’s “hard day at the office” is one
of the biggest scams in history.)
● Before feminism, only
girls brave enough to put up with the “tomboy” label jumped into
sports. Now millions of girls everywhere are into basketball,
softball, soccer, race car driving, lacrosse, hockey, scuba-diving,
sky-diving, rock-climbing, pole vaulting, you name it. Speaking
of which, did you catch Jennie Finch in the women’s collegiate
softball tournament? How about Stacy Dragila in the Olympic pole
vault? Or the women skiers in the freestyle moguls and half-pipe
competition? Or Anika and Venus and Serena? Awesome!
● Before feminism, a lot
of Dads spent about 15 minutes a year getting to know their kids. Now
a lot of Dads dive in deeper. And many of them discover that
parenting is the very best part of their life. It certainly is for
me.
● Before feminism, it
was basically legal to beat and sexually assault women and girls,
since law enforcement types, employers and others in the know looked
the other way. Now most people recognize that these crimes are
illegal. And there’s better prosecution and education. Not to
mention more services for victims. Of course, all you have to do is
check the headlines to realize we’ve got a lot of work to do before we
can end violence against women and girls. (For more info on this
always-hot topic, see the “Here’s The Deal” Archives.)
● Before feminism, women
and girls got the shaft in a country that prized itself on democracy
and equality. Now the shaft size is a hell of a lot smaller. And
this HUGE CHANGE wouldn’t have happened without the hard work of
“femi-nazis” who just happen to be the kind of angry, outraged people
Bill Maher thinks we need more of (see Chapter IV.)
Hmmm. Maybe Bill got
THAT PART right after all.
IX. A final word: There are a
few items left on the “to-do” list.
Of course, if you look around the world today, there’s still a ton
of work to do on the gender equality front.
● Too many women and
girls in the world are second-class citizens.
● Too many women and
girls are being beaten, harassed and sexually assaulted.
● Too many women aren’t
getting paid the same as guys with the same job title, skills and
experience.
● Too many women who
work outside the home get stuck with too many household chores.
● There aren’t enough
women leaders in government and business.
● There’s too much
pressure on women and girls to be “babes.”
● Too many guys think
heroism and courage are strictly male characteristics.
● Too many people refuse
to recognize the huge contributions of the biggest civil rights
movement in world history.
And that’s just for
starters.
Sure, it’s a long list.
But guess what! It would be a WHOLE lot longer without feminists and
feminism.
SHOOT! I just blew that
cushy FBA speaking-gig thing, didn’t I?
Hank Shaw
Time4guys@aol.com
Read Hank's other column: Not Ready for the
21st Century!!! Awards.
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